Friday, April 2, 2010

Black Hawk Down

i was just discharged from hospital today. was admitted for 3 days due to pain on my right lowerback. Turns out to be a stone down my urinary tract causing hydronephrosis.
they dont have a clock in the ward. I was placed in a 2-person room specially reserved for staff member who got sick. Apparently, i was the only inhibitant for the whole 3 days. time was something that seems most inconsistant. the only ‘time’ i remember is between the wakes from the pain, the jabs then the nauseating episodes of vomit and then, it is back to slumber.
nurses came in every once in a while. every so often, they will stop by to check my vitals. they do appear to come in intervals. mostly on time. sometimes they are late. but it never bothers me. In fact, the short conversation was the one thing that kept me from fading away.
my regular heart rate is about 45-55. it is not normal by medical book standards. most people have a heart rate of 70-80. Mine was less by some reason, but it was normal. (i had it check out when i was in med-school).
most of the time the nurses will be alerted with the number the see on the screen :”45?” “are u okay doctor?”… i would explain to them it is my normal heart rate. they would turn away with some disbelieve on their face, but otherwise, woud proceed with their other errents.
The funny part is, when i was in great pain. My heart rate will rise to somewhere around 80. That is a whooping 30+ difference from my baseline. (it is normal to have heart rate increasing in reflex to pain stimuli) And the nurses will give a big smile and say “well, all is normal!”.
Obviously, it is not normal. cant they read the subtle grimmace on my face? the body language telling them otherwise? Usually, i would bother and just order for another jab of IV.Tramadol. IM just wont cut it for me.
The worst part of the jab is the after-effect. Soon, a swirling sensation will spin in my head. Coupled with the pain i am already in, sweat will breaks on my forehead. For a brief moment, i can hear my breathing gets rather heavy…Then, came the gushing wave of vomitus. If you wonder what it was like. It is like getting your gut turned insde-out…
soon, everything will settled in the burred out ways and i will return the long slumber i was in, before i get woken up by another pain attack.
Pain from a renal colic is excruciating. Those who didnt know will never knows. If you want me to put it into words, then i’d describe it as the sensation worst then being kicked in the balls. (please dont mind my language). The bastard just wont give it to rest. It will keep hiting you again and again until you give in.
In medicine, we usually rate our pain from 1-10. that is what we call a “pain score”. one being the least painful, and then 10 is like when u get a heart attack. Pain from renal colic could go up to 8 by my standard. Usually, i could handle pain score 2-3 (which is somewhere between mild and moderate). But when it hit pain score 4-5, that is where it gets tricky. Your mind will start asking question wether the pain will reduce back to score 2-3 or will be became more violent, hitting score 7-8.
The logic is, one would want the jab before the pain becomes too much to handle. So, i’d have to decide FAST. The reason simply being (1) it takes some time for the medicine to work (2) It also take MUCH time for the nurses to come, to prepare the jab… until you “finally” gets the jab.
To call the nurse, they designed the “nurse buzzer”. Well, i dont really know what it is really called, but it is the very button u pushed to get the nurse in. They made it conveniently close to the bed where u can just reach out and press it swiftly. However, no matter how close it was within reach, it usually took my a good few minutes to press it.
the dillema to press the buzzer, is that u wont know for sure if the pain in getting worse or better. so, like most sane people , i’d to wait it out, and decide if it is REALLY getting worse?
…. and if i have one good tip from this whole hospital ordeal, it is this: NEVER HESSITATE to push that button. Stop being a thickhead and think you’re tough, the pain will ONLY get worse!
after seemingly endless cycle of waking up-and sleeping, i finally got well enough, to be able to push myself up beyond the boundary of the perimeter of the bed, and let in the sun and refreshing breeze.
And apparently, after the long-standing pain, the stone finally trickled down my ureter and now resting just a few milimeter from my bladder. The surgeon decided i wouldnt need to go under the knife. Rather, he would have me wait for the kidney stone to be flushed out from my system the “natural” way.
So, off i go, being kicked out of hospital before actually being healed.
# special thanks to Dr.Dar of Hospital Tengku Ampuan Afzan, who had troubled himself in order to helped me locating the nature of the illness. He had shown kindness and efficiency in his work, and it meant a lot for me.

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